Thursday, July 1, 2010

ACTORS TIP: It's getting closer...

We officially started moving out of the edit studio as of yesterday - and I couldn't help but get giddy at the thought of what's happening - we're packing to head off and film a movie! I can't wait to get to Oklahoma and start building the set and start getting to physically be "in" the world I'll be living and acting in. 

Now, this may sound strange - but besides physically - I've already started making small changes in my personality and my lifestyle to start feeling more like the character in the movie I'll be playing:Tank -  and it's so freeing! See, all my life I've been the type of person who cared a lot what people think of me. I'd never leave the house with my hair a mess or without my makeup on. I always had to be presentable - and I guess it was my way of feeling accepted. Even going to the gym - which didn't happen often back then - I would make sure my clothes were just right - my hair - tight in a ponytail with hairspray so I didn't have any wispy hair sticking out. I felt that if I didn't look good - people would judge me. Make fun of me - or - I don't know. Anyway - point being - it was this inner fear of just being myself and being ok with that which I lived with.

Needless to say - when I learned a bit about the character I would be playing - I knew I couldn't have ANY of that fear lingering in my personality. Tank is confident and strong. That's what I needed to be. That's not to say that Tank doesn't come with her own set of issues - but that's for me to internalize and handle the way she would. 

  So - I started making changes. I remember the first day I did it - I was going to the gym - I woke up at 4 a.m. (and let's be honest here - who looks good at 4am? NOT ME!) and instead of taking 30 minutes to make sure my pants weren't wrinkled - my shirt looked good with my pants and my hair wasn't a mess - I just threw on some pants and a baggy I love NY shirt - tossed my hair in a messy bun and walked out the door. All the way to the gym I was anxious about it - thinking I looked horrible. Once I got there - I realized something - no one was looking at me funny.  No one was laughing. No one was pointing - instead - they all just went on working out and being focused on themselves. All of that stress and worry for nothing! It was such a freeing moment for me - and I haven't looked back since. 

Suddenly I had found this new - confidence - in myself and the people around me. Now - when I'm getting ready - if I don't have time - or even if I just don't feel like putting make up on - I just go. And you know what - people are just as nice - just as accepting as before. I even made some new friends at the gym! :) 

There is a point here... this just goes to show that there is so much more involved in acting than just memorizing the lines and pretending to be someone else. For me - if I didn't feel it - that would come across on screen and I would seem fake - or that I was just "pretending" to be confident - and I didn't want that. I know some people say actors are crazy - and I'm not saying you need to go out and kill someone to play a killer, or take drugs to play a drug addict - but you do have to find a way to relate to that state of mind of the character - and make that part of you internally as an actor - feel the character. I feel a good role can teach you something - not only about your craft - but also in your personal life, therefor making it possible to give a genuine performance. I still have a long road ahead of me - and a lot of preparation to do - but hey - one step at a time. And this was a big step for me. 

On a personal note - I think this could help people in their every day lives - even if you aren't an actor - just doing something that you are afraid of - or anxious about - can change your whole outlook on it. Suddenly you'll be wondering to yourself why you were so afraid in the first place.

That's all for now - thanks for reading! :)



  1. This is a great post. It is interesting to see you grow personally because you are going to play a part in a film, and therefore are motivated to do things you wouldn't normally do, only to have positive results for yourself.

    I know women are more concerned, generally, about their appearance then men are about their's. This was a big step, and one that would crush your preconceived view on how others would react to you. Not many people take such a chance. That's huge.

    I believe there is so much to learn about a part from exposure to people of that character that cannot be "faked." There are too many details and nuances that we don't know about, and living them, or at least being right next to them, is the only way to pick them up and reproduce the performance in the most accurate way.

    Thanks for writing this blog. It gives some serious insight that I believe many take for granted.

  2. Thanks Steve!

    Yeah - I think it's interesting being able to push yourself the way you do for a role.

    I've seen a lot of actors interviews after an intense role and they said that character stuck with them for a while - and I can see how that would happen.

    To me - that is one of the most fascinating and interesting things about being an actor - it takes guts!

    Thanks for posting Steve! Look forward to your next blog and glad to hear you had fun in AZ - I will pass the message along to Oak about your car! :)